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11 Aug 2017

So I had my first K-cup road rage incident today. At the local store standing in the checkout line. Guy behind me wearing a tie dyed t-shirt taps me on the shoulder and points to my cart. (Taps me on the shoulder!)
“Hey! Don’t you know that those are bad for the environment?”
Me (in my best New Jersey accent):” Yeah? So what?”
Hippie : “Don’t you care about the environment?”
Me: “No.”
Liberal snowflake: “Really?”
Me: “Really.”
(At this point, a black lady three people behind in the line starts laughing.)
Hillary voter: “But what about the future of our children?” (Nods towards a small boy in his cart.)
Me: “You mean him? The kid picking his nose?”
Filthy tree hugger: “Eggbert! Stop that!” (Swats at kid’s hand.)
Black Lady: (Laughs really loud) “Eggbert? That’s a stupid name!”
Former Obama voter: (Glares back at lady). “And they’re sooooo expensive!”
Me: (Pointing to his arm) “So maybe I could get some swell tattoos like those with the money I save.”
Black Lady: “Oooooo!”
Liberal bastard: (Turns around to fully face black lady) “Hey! Mind your own business!”
Black Lady: “I know you ain’t talkin’ to me!” (Shakes head back and forth vigorously in a defiant manner.)
Eggbert: “Daddy! I’m bored!” (Shifts his position in the cart and sits on a carton of eggs which proceeds to drip onto floor.)
Prius driver: “Eggbert! Look at what you just did!”
Now the black lady, along with everybody in the adjacent lines are laughing. Manager comes over.
Manager: “Is there a problem?”
Black Lady: “Yeah! He named his kid Eggbert!”
Entire store erupts into raucous laughter. Manager calls for cleanup, then leads asshole away.
I go through checkout, leave store and put away groceries in truck. I notice Eggbert and dad loading his stuff into a Prius. He glares at me again. Instead of going over and choking the living shit out of him, I just point to my Ford F-150 truck. He turns purple.
I get home and put away my groceries, then make a cup of coffee. I’ve decided to name my K-cup coffee maker “Eggbert.”

9 Jul 2017

So I’m doing research for my next Ebook ‘Order of the Deadly Lotus’ when I have to get some info about a sexy female Chinese assassin. Do you know what happens when you type in ‘Hot Asian women’ into Google?

1 Jul 2017

I’ve been working on the latest story (lucky number 7)  in the John DelMonico / Terri O’Brien detective series, tentatively titled, ‘Order of The Deadly Lotus’. (Hey! I’m writing as fast as I can!)

30 Jun 2017

Bear with us as this website gets a much needed facelift…

29 Jun 2017

The reviews are in for Even Goddesses Need Clean Underwear!  An RT Book Reviews Top Pick!  4 1/2 stars 

“Extended Vacation,” “Perfect Touch,” “6:06 to Sunnyvale”—three short stories with Twilight Zone and Stephen King leanings. Written in three different seasons of his life, rising mystery/suspense/horror author Harry F. Smith definitely has a penchant for creating engaging short tales replete with well-defined characters that are involved in a flurry of situations. Amid plot twists, Smith excels at incorporating the element of surprise. “Even Goddesses Need Clean Underwear” is certain to be a new favorite among thriller aficionados. – RT Book Reviews

Read the full review here!

28 Jun 2017

After intense negotiations,  Like A Duck Publishing has a new theme song,  ‘A Duck Named Sybil’ by Rachel Collis.

Go here to watch Rachel Collis & Band performing ‘A Duck Named Sybil’ in Humph Hall, Sydney, Australia.

Go here to visit her web site: